Guy's Blog: PatchWork

Welcome back to Bryngwyn smallholding and the trials and tribulations of attempting self-sufficiency.

Patch:

It’s well and truly harvest time here in west Wales. I love this time of year as there isn’t much work to do except bring in the (hopefully) abundant crops. In fact one of the problems tends to be over-abundance which throws up the challenge of saving produce for the lean times in the spring. An obvious example are apples. In a good year, and this is a very good year, even a handful of apple trees give far too much fruit to eat. Sadly lots of people end up simply letting surplus apples rot. Of course in a rational society the local authority would collect surplus apples for food, processing or redistribution. However capitalist societies aren’t rational so huge numbers of apples simply go to waste.

There are ways to try and get round this. We put stewed apples in the freezer, we try and store apples (with mixed results it must be said). We also make large amounts of cider and apple juice.

WhatsApp Image 2020-09-11 at 20.09.30.jpeg

Making cider is surprisingly easy. You will however need an apple press. This is another example of an expensive piece of kit (like chainsaws, strimmers etc) getting about a weeks use and then sitting in the garage under-utilised for the rest of the time. We are lucky enough to have a press, so if you want to borrow it let us know. We found out about the other essential piece of gear the hard way. Having proudly acquired an apple press we set about using it according to the instructions which said cut the apples up and press them. Well after about an hour of massive effort trying to turn the press we had about a tea-cup of juice. It was clear you needed the biceps of Arnie Swharzenneger to be a cider maker. We were about to give up when some friends called round. “oh yes we had the same problem.” The solution turns out to be a garden shredder. You simply pop the apples in, flip the switch and have apple pulp in seconds. Using the press then becomes childsplay and we can process a gallon an hour from picking to demi-john. The beauty of cider making is you need add nothing but pure apple juice. No messing about with yeast or sugar is necessary to make really good cider. Just stick it in a demi-john and wait a few weeks until fermentation has stopped, bottle it and bobs your uncle. Remember if you are making apple juice to pasteurise it or stick it in the freezer, otherwise it will explode!

I have also made marrow and apple chutney (a new recipe), which is delicious, but unfortunately has the colour and consistency of cold sick. Never mind it’s lovely as long as you keep your eyes closed.

WhatsApp Image 2020-09-11 at 20.11.35.jpeg

Otherwise things going well on the patch. The ducklings are now free range, but are continuing to insist on strict social distancing, shooting off if anyone get too near. The cockerel is getting over-confident and went for Jane. Luckily she was wearing wellies. The turkeys are enjoying their freedom and are charging round the yard at high speed for reasons only another turkey could possibly make sense of.

The pigs are as happy as the proverbial pigs in shit. They are in the process of digging up the entire run.  Pigs are superb rotavators. They can dig an overgrown patch in no time and even manure it as they go along.

Regular readers may have noticed that the polytunnel toads were keeping their heads down. It appears that last week they went to London to join the Extinction Rebellion protests and ended up getting arrested for public order offences. “No worries” they said cockily “ we pulled a Brandon and got off”. It appears that the Right Honourable Brandon Lewis MP has introduced a new line of defence into English law. Apparently you admit to the crime but assure the Magistrate it was only carried out in a “very specific and limited way”. Bingo! Case dismissed. Genius! I only wish that defence had been available in my picketing days. All I can say is the toads are very lucky to have such an enlightened and liberal cabinet minister.

On the Wild Side:

Good time of year for foraging. Blackberries still going strong. Jane makes a delicious jelly from crab apples. Still battling the squirrels for the hazelnuts. Present score:

Guy -  7.

Squirrels – several hundred.

But it’s a game of two halves so I haven’t given up yet. On the other hand there are loads of acorns this year so the pigs are well happy.

A pair of wood pigeons are clearly raising a new brood in a tree overlooking the patch. Seems a bit late but they can raise two or three broods a year. Looks like I’m going to have to keep my winter veg netted for the foreseeable future.

Tip of the week:

Try to get as much mulch as you can on your beds for over-wintering. It suppresses the weeds and enriches the soil for next year. We tend to use dead seaweed collected following a storm. With 26 raised beds we need the bulk.

Have a good week and here’s hoping you won’t have to “pull a Brandon”!